Brothers
by DAnNSfreak
Summary: Louie dies after being in the coma for over a month. How does Danny handle this? Will the brothers ever forgive one another? Pure Danny story.


Disclaimer: Not mine, never have been, never will be.

Ever get those sudden story lines in your head and you just have to finish writing and posting it, or else you'll go mad? This story is the result of that happening to me. I got this sudden brainwave and spent my entire evening working on this story. I sacrificed studying History for this, ya know!! (Ok, fine... I would gladly choose to write this over studying History...)

Hope you like it!

_**Brothers**_

Dark clouds in the distance. Dark clouds in his heart. Danny Messer took a slow deep breath, breathing in the cool, even stiff, air.

A deep voice was speaking in front. Danny wasn't paying the slightest attention to what the priest had to say. He merely kept his head down, focused on the grass on the ground before him, encased in his own grief.

_Louie…_

Danny caught some words from the priest's speech, despite his unwillingness to listen to what the middle-aged man in the dark robe had to say about his brother. "Strong-willed… intelligent… a good man…"

Danny almost snorted. Lies. All lies. If half of what the priest had to say about Louie were true, they wouldn't be here right now. Louie would be alive and well.

When they lowered Louie's casket into the plot, Danny felt a hand grip his arm and a head leaning on his shoulder. Danny recognized the scent of his mother. He sighed quietly and pulled her into a hug. He felt her tears soaking his jacket.

He looked up for the first time since he got here and his blue eyes met his father's. Their eyes had always been like mirror images while Louie's brown ones take after their mother.

But today, the lively glint that their sapphire eyes shared weren't there in his father's eyes. Instead, Danny saw sadness, grief. Danny had a feeling his eyes were missing that glint as well. His father gave his remaining son a small, comforting smile.

But it was far from comforting. Instead, Danny felt a wave of anger. Anger directed purely towards Louie, the useless piece of scum.

Louie was an idiot for joining Tanglewood. He got involved in all kinds of trouble and picked up all kinds of bad habits. Danny was angry that Louie started smoking. He was even angrier that he got Danny to start smoking as well.

Louie was an idiot for shoving Danny away 15 years ago. He should have let Danny stay and help with the murder of that guy. Instead, he said that Danny was an embarrassment to him, causing the thread holding their relationship together to snap into two.

Louie was an idiot for getting himself killed, just to protect Danny from a murder charge.

Danny was glad his brother is dead.

People were walking around now, offering their condolences to the broken Messer family. Danny walked away, he did not want to face anybody right now. Who are they to apologize? Who are they to shake his hand and offer their deepest sympathies?

Louie wasn't worth all this. They should have just thrown his body into the garbage dump. He was a freakin' criminal and did not deserve a proper burial. Danny was furious at his brother for breaking their parent's hearts. Danny was _so _glad his brother is dead. Good riddance.

'_Bullshit.'_ Danny thought to himself as he walked further and further away from the crowd. Danny saw out of the corner of his eye Lindsay making to walk towards him but Mac held her back with a gentle shake of his head. Danny was grateful for that.

Who was he kidding? He wasn't mad at Louie at all. If anything, Danny was mad at himself. He should have been a better brother. He should have kept Louie out of trouble.

Danny leaned against the trunk of a tree, hiding himself from everyone. A thick lump formed in his throat, making his tie feel tightly uncomfortable. He willed himself to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes.

For the past month, Danny faithfully sat by his brother's side in the hospital every night. He told his brother everything he could think of. He talked about the interesting cases he had handled before, he kept Louie updated on the latest happenings in the Major League.

Danny told his comatose brother everything. Everything except what he really wanted to say. Danny wanted to tell Louie that he was sorry, sorry for ignoring all his calls. Danny wanted to thank him, for proving himself innocent for that murder.

But Danny wanted to say all this only when Louie woke up from the coma. He wanted to hear Louie's reply. He wanted to hear Louie himself to tell him that he forgave him. He wanted them to be brothers again. He wanted to hear Louie telling him that everything's alright, that he loved him.

Two days ago, Danny got a call from the hospital. And Danny knew that he'll never get the chance to say what he wanted.

As he thought all this, Danny felt the tears fall. The pain he was feeling inside was so raw, it was almost eating him from the inside. His brother never gave him the chance. Does that mean that Louie did not forgive him?

Danny wondered why Louie did what he did. Why did he join the Tanglewood Boys? When they were kids, they were like twins. Inseparable. They did everything together. But as they grew up, they slowly split apart.

Danny did well in school and got excellent grades. Louie cut classes. Danny made it into the baseball team, Louie didn't. Danny went to college, Louie went deeper and deeper into Tanglewood.

Danny remembered he once asked Louie angrily after Louie proudly showed him his Tanglewood tattoo, "Don't you want to do the right thing?"

Louie had replied, "Who are you to tell me what the right thing is?"

Danny didn't know how to reply.

Danny suddenly felt someone tapping his shoulder. It was his dad, "Hey kiddo… we need to be going now."

Danny nodded, hoping his eyes aren't giving away the fact that he was crying earlier. If his parents noticed, they didn't show it. His parents were catching the ferry back to their home in Staten Island.

Danny noticed his mother was holding a small black box. Danny knew that they had gone to Louie's apartment earlier, to take care of his belongings. Danny was surprised to see the box. It was their box. Danny and Louie had kept all kinds of things inside, especially baseball memorabilia.

They used this box a lot in their childhood. But as they grew up, the box was never touched anymore and Danny never saw it again. Louie actually took it?

His mum handed the box over to him, "I think he would have wanted you to keep this,"

Danny took it but was determined never to open it. Too painful.

He hugged his dad, who whispered in his ear, "Chin up, kiddo."

Danny nodded with a small smile. His mother kissed him and said, "Take care of yourself."

When they left, Danny turned and saw his colleagues walking towards him.

Stella came first and gave him a big hug, patting his back. Hawkes and Flack both gave him a firm handshake followed by a one armed hug. Mac, to their surprise, except Danny's, hugged Danny as well. Danny would never forget all the support Mac gave Danny in clearing up the murder case. Last was Lindsay. They hugged and Danny whispered in her ear, "Thank you," acknowledging her help with the DNA results as well as the tape that Louie used to get Sonny Sassone's confession.

When they pulled apart, the six of them looked at one another wordlessly. There was no need for speaking.

Danny felt extremely touched, seeing them all there for him.

Did he say colleagues? He meant friends.

They soon left and Danny was left alone in the cemetery. He didn't really feel like heading home but at the same time, he wasn't exactly happy sticking around here.

He stared into the distance towards the spot where Louie was now buried. Out of nowhere, his feet started walking towards that direction. He got to the front of the tombstone.

_Louie Messer_

_1973-2006_

_Beloved son and brother,_

_Forever in our hearts._

Danny had stayed away from this place all morning. He didn't want to read these words because reading them would make Danny realize the reality that Louie was gone forever.

He stared at the small box in his hand. His head kept telling him to just store it in the dark corner of his cupboard, away from sight. But his hands were already opening the lid.

Danny sat down cross-legged in front of his brother's tombstone. He began talking to Louie. He took out the baseball cards, and all the other baseball memorabilia while relieving the past with his brother. Danny could almost feel his brother's presence as he flipped through the Mickey Mantle and Babe Ruth trading cards as well as old pictures of them arm in arm at baseball games.

Danny found the baseball that Louie managed to get autographed by Danny's favorite Mets pitcher, Ron Darling. Danny never wanted anything more in the world but Louie wouldn't even let Danny touch it. They didn't talk to each other for a week.

After that, everything was forgotten and they began playing together like normal. On Danny's 10th birthday that year, he opened the box Louie gave to him and found the baseball.

Louie had said gruffly as Danny thanked him over and over again, "Whatever. I just didn't have enough money to buy you a gift so I just gave you this,"

Danny knew that he was lying as Louie had earned quite some money from mowing the neighbor's lawn just the day before.

Danny lost track of time as he sifted through the things in the box, recalling everything that happened with that particular object.

That's when he found it. A folded piece of paper at the very bottom of the box. It looked new and Danny never remembered it being there before. He opened it and was surprised to see Louie's writing.

_Danny,_

_If you are reading this, I'm probably dead, thanks to Sonny Sassone. That's the price I have to pay for being in Tanglewood._

_Your boss came to me and said you were being accused of a murder you didn't commit. The murder of that kid, Bobby, back in '91._

_And it's my fault. That's why I'm going to Sassone, to make things right. I'm gonna make him confess and I'm gonna record it. If he finds out, he'll kill me but I'm not afraid of that. I'm more afraid that you'll never find out the truth about why I shoved you away 15 years ago._

_You are a much better person than me. You'll have a great future, and I wasn't gonna let you throw that away by joining me and the boys. I threw away my future, and I regret it._

_Don't blame yourself over what's happened to me. This is my choice. You remember asking me about not wanting to do the right thing? I want to do the right thing now._

_I've always been proud of you, for going your own way. Look what would have happened if you became one of us Tanglewood Boys. Three of us that were in on that killing. (Yeah… we killed Bobby, but I guess you know that now.) Zabo shot himself, I'm dead now, and I hope to hell that Sassone is in jail. _

_Death and jail. Hah._

_You knew what the right thing to do was way before I did. I'm proud of that._

_You'll always be my little bro', Danny and I hope that'll you'll forgive me. Take care of mum and dad. Tell them I'm sorry for all I've done._

_Your brother,_

_Louie._

Danny folded up the paper with shaky hands and shoved it into his pocket, determined never to lose it. He was mildly surprised that he felt no tears. Instead, Danny felt quite at peace.

It started raining lightly but Danny didn't care. He reached out his hand and gently ran his fingers over his brother's name on the tombstone.

He got up and walked away, feeling the cool rain on his face. The two Messer brothers have finally come to understand one another.

_I'm proud of you too, _

_Louie…_

END

I apologize if some things are inaccurate, like the funeral, as I don't know much about how it's done.

I don't know much about baseball either, but I know Ron Darling is a real player, a pitcher for the Mets from 1983 to 1991. I did the math and Danny's age and everything coincides with one another. Yes, I did research. Haha.

Also, I'm saying Danny's age is 30 this year and Louie is 3 years older. I'm quite positive that Danny is the younger brother. If he isn't, let's just say he is ok, cos' I think it'll be kinda silly if a big brother will let himself get pushed around by his little brother like that…

Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

Peace!


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